What was lost
by Infinite Nosferatu
Summary: An angsty oneshot about Seras...


_**DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT OWN HELLSING BUT I DO OWN WALTER AND GABRIELLE VICTORIA!**_

**What was lost**

-Seras POV-

It had nearly been 13 years since that day, the day that I ran away from Hellsing. It was for good reason, but also for a selfish desire, and now I was paying the price. The only good thing that became of this is that I now had two absolutely beautiful boys that loved me to death, and I loved them even further than that.

The oldest was Gabrielle; everything about his physical appearance reflected his biological father. His shiny ivory hair that was slightly curly, his blood red eyes and his snow pale skin, everyone could tell he wasn't human, but he didn't mind as long as his little brother was safe. This one I named Walter, who resembled his _mother_ more than his father, seeing as he was more human than vampire. He had long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. These boys shared one thing in common: their father.

Gabrielle is my son and Walter is Integra's. I did a favour for Integra when she wanted a child, but didn't wish to be deflowered nor go through the pregnancy because of the advantages the other knights would most likely use.

It was a top secret procedure that only she, I and the doctor knew about, not even master or Walter knew about it until the day that the IVF was to take place, where master's sperm was used to fertilize Integra's eggs before being placed into me. And by that time, I had conceived my own child that went undetected until I was forced into having an ultrasound, in which I found that there were _two_ babies, not one.

Everyone thought that they were _both_ Integra's, but I could feel the one heartbeat that Walter gave, and I felt the energy that Gabrielle gave, the two were only connected via the sperm that their father provided. Walter's life was given courtesy of the IVF, and Gabrielle's life was given courtesy of the _entire_ week that master took my virginity… against my will.

"Mum, we've finished packing," Gabrielle shouted while coming down the stairs of the house we'd been renting for a few years in northern England.

"What can we do now," Walter bounced down behind him. I smiled and handed them some money, telling them that they could either save it or go grab themselves some ice cream from the corner store. And as usual, they took the option that involved the ice cream, something I only hoped Hellsing could handle. I only stared at their backs as they ran out the door with their money, my tall blonde helper sitting down at the table opposite me.

"It's a shame that they're both vampires," he said in his thick Irish accent. "They're rather cute for demon spawn."

"You're forgetting, Walter is only _half_ vampire," I corrected after a little chuckle to myself. "I don't know how I can repay you after all you've done for us Anderson; it's still shocking that you were _willing_ to help!" The priest guffawed at me, his green eyes shining at the memory of the two seven year olds I'd come with several years ago in Rome. They took to him right away, he, being a demon slayer and all that, took a _little_ longer to warm up to them. When he did, he'd just convinced Maxwell to sign a treaty with Hellsing for assistance on either side if the situation called for it. We left soon after because he'd faxed it off to Integra so she would know where I was which would ultimately lead to the boys, and I wasn't ready for her to know about them yet.

"It's not going to be easy to tell them, especially with a _video_," I confessed, holding up the large brown package I'd addressed to Integra for when Anderson takes the boys to where they'll fit in.

"It's cowardly to tell them _that_ way," he lectured. "But it takes courage to _actually_ tell them." I smiled at him when he finished giving his priestly advice that was one of the things that I'd miss the most when I'm gone.

"I just can't bear to tell them face to face, it was hard enough for me to scold them," I said, coughing up blood for what felt like the millionth time that day.

"That was the first sign, wasn't it? The sign that told you, you were going to die," Anderson questioned. I nodded and washed my hands with soup under the sink.

"Don't let them separate, please! I'd feel like I'd failed everything if they did that."

"I promise," he told me while lifting his silver cross, a sign that he gave his word to the death.

"Thank you… Make sure that they get there, and tell them that I love them more than anything in this world!" That was the last thing I said before looking at the beautiful sun set, and died, turning to dust.

-Anderson POV-

I watched as the Draculina turned to dust and fell all over the floor. I knew that Walter and Gabrielle would take a while longer with their ice creams so I took the last of the boxes that had the boys' belongings in them and put them in the large car. Taking the holy water that I had at my side, I said a prayer for the woman and sprinkled it onto her ashes, fire spreading from it immediately. Noticing that the boys were returning, I moved out of the flaming house and ushered them into the vehicle we were to take to the Hellsing manor.

"Where's mum," Walter asked. I told them that she would be there when we arrived, obviously talking about the protestant woman and not the vampire; it wasn't my place to tell them what had happened only a little while before they'd returned. They both giggled loudly as their puppy, Snuggles, played with them in the back seat. He had been named by Seras because the twins couldn't decide and ended up fighting over him.

By the time we'd reached the Hellsing manor, it had been hours driving and the little vampires had fallen asleep with their faithful canine companion. The sight confused the guard completely until I showed them a letter that Seras had had Maxwell send to the Protestant leader; this cleared us before confronting the blonde robot woman. The butler and French mercenary helped me get the boys out of the car, much of their own protesting was given to us until they were fully awake, courtesy of Snuggles, which the butler thought adorable and the mercenary found odd. It was all sorted out when I told them the story behind his naming, the mercenary laughing and turning out to not be much help after that.

I told the butler everything as he lead me and the boys up to the woman's office, understanding the existence of Walter but being questionable as to the sleepy Gabrielle holding onto his younger brother. We waited until he announced us, the round table conference surprising me to a great extent and just to make it worse, the half-asleep vampire went around the table and applied their faces to the nicknames the Draculina gave them. This angered the men and gave huge amusement to the blonde at the end of the table.

"Are you Integra Hellsing," Walter asked the woman, hiding behind his full vampire brother.

"Yes I am," she answered in a sweet tone, giving me chills. The half vampire produced the enveloped I'd given him from their mother and told her that she'd wanted it to be handed straight to her; no one else was to touch it. She opened it, and a disk fell out along with a whole bunch of photos that I hadn't even seen before. The large ones were school photos that had woken Gabrielle up to a maximum now, being embarrassed because of the braces he'd had for several years shown in the photos.

Many of the others were just random ones that she'd taken during their time in Japan, which is where they'd first lived and where the Draculina gave birth before coming for my assistance. After that, many of the photos included either me, funny ones of Maxwell, Heinkel, Yumiko or the one that gave birth to them. It was towards the end when they were in the north of England, the ones that had Seras in them showed her looking awfully ill, evidence that she'd been dying. Almost every photo that had the boys gave to the knights got a reaction, seemingly softening them and lightening the atmosphere from when we'd arrived. And then, it was time for the disk that Seras had prepared for the boys, Alucard, the butler and the Protestant leader, this explained everything.

-Integra POV-

After perusing through the most adorable pictures I'd seen of these two boys through their life, along with my fellow knights, it was time for the disk that I'd saved for last. Walter put it on the computer that was connected to a projector which showed the contents on the large sheet that Alucard was so kind as to pull down.

It started with a date: 23 November 2007. Movement started and female giggling started before two toddlers came into view, seeing as they were the boys because of the embarrassed groans they gave from near Father Anderson.

"_Oh, you two are absolutely gorgeous,"_ the voice said, obviously Seras' from what I can remember her tone being. _"I wish you'd stay like this forever!"_ Another shot of them eating a Japanese breakfast came on, Walter acting with absolute perfection in his table manners while Gabrielle gave up on his fight with the sausage and stabbed it to shove it in his mouth.

"_Oh baby, that's not polite,"_ Seras said. He just looked at the camera and pouted.

"_I got angry at it mummy! It wasn't being nice!"_ Both the woman and his brother laughed while he continued to shove the meaty food into his mouth. More portions of home video's went on for about ten minutes before it went black, white writing appeared when we thought it was over.

**17 October 2017**

**If you're watching this Sir Integra, then I'm either dying or dead and you've met Gabrielle and Walter. Don't worry, they're no harm to anything or anyone until they choose to be.**

**Almost 13 years ago, I ran away from Hellsing with the two babies growing inside me. I was scared because one of them wasn't supposed to be there, this one was **_**my**_** child.**

**The only reason that Gabrielle and Walter are brothers is because they share the same blood that their father contributed. One is your child, and one is my child, both are master's children.**

**Walter Arthur Abraham Hellsing and Gabrielle Vladimir Alexander Victoria; DOB 23 November 2004; 05:30 pm.**

**I want them to know that I did what I did through my life to make sure that they were safe, but when I found out that I was dying, Father Anderson helped me make the decision to give them back to the place that they would truly belong and be safe.**

**Tell them that I love them and always will.**

**PS. Don't let master get away without any responsibility, he's a **_**father**_** now!**

Looking at the boys, I felt sorry that they'd lost the one person that had always loved them unconditionally. But just to make a show, I grabbed my gun and shot Alucard in the head, knowing full well how he had gotten Seras pregnant, and _that_ was also something that he wasn't going to get away with.

"So, you're going to be with use from now on," I told the boys, only to have them fall to the ground and burst into wailing tears. This was going to be a tough road to drive down, but with the way that Seras raised them, I knew that they'd be strong enough to handle it… hopefully.

**This story was inspired by the pics that Grassland drew and loaded on her DA account, so if you wanna check 'em out, here's the site:**

.com/gallery/#My-crap

**Ja ne, minasan!**


End file.
